Wednesday, April 13, 2011

God is Good....All the time?

If you grew up anywhere remotely near a church, I'm betting you had heard or said this statement approximately 785 million times. I know I have. It is a statement I have said and believed with ease my whole life. But then again, my whole life has been pretty good. Pretty easy. Sure I had my share of heartaches, insecurities, fears. But overall, its been pretty good and I have had no problem seeing God's goodness.

But what about when life isn't so good? What about when it just down right stinks? What about when you are faced with your 47 year old mom having cancer before you have really even had a chance to do anything with you life? What about when you go a full month with no answers as to where her cancer is truly coming from? What about when you spend more time crying then you do laughing? What if those words get stuck in your throat? What if instead of coming easily, they come accompanied with a heartache you can feel?

What then?

I wish I could say that I have not struggled with seeing God's goodness in this. I wish I could say I haven't been mad. I wish I could say I haven't asked why. I wish I could say I have whole heartily put my trust in Him.

But you know what, I can't say any one of these things, and I'm ok with that.

My flesh is so weak. I am sad. I am scared. I am confused. I am frustrated. (this list could go on forever) But He is not. He is not weak during this time. In fact, His power is being made complete in my weakness. He is not surprised by this road. He's walked it and is holding my hand as He walks down it with me. He loves me and has compassion for me. When waters rise, He doesn't let go. He is faithful even when I don't feel like being. I'm a mess, and He is ok with that.

It's because of these things that even when I have trouble saying that phrase, I know it's still true.

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